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influencer Matt and Abby Howard have spoken candidly about their “gender disappointment” about their rainbow baby.
Abby and Matt, 27, opened up on their “The Unexpected Podcast” on Wednesday, April 22, that they found out they were pregnant with their third baby boy after suffering a miscarriage during their daughter’s pregnancy.
“I would say, for me, I do have gender disappointments,” Abby shared. “About 30 seconds. Maybe less.”
“I always said, ‘I think we’re going to have a boy.’ And sure enough, we had a boy, we had a second boy, and then losing our daughter she continued, referring to her sons Griffin, three, and August, two. She explained that she would “love” having a daughter but “never had a clear preference”.
Matt then asked her if she felt “guilty” about being disappointed by the news, and Abby said, “No.”
“I always imagined having all the boys, and then we lost (Emerson), and it opened up a preference in me that I never had before,” Abby said. “Being pregnant again, I was nervously hoping, ‘I hope we have a daughter.'”
She tearfully continued, “I don’t have a girl-sized hole in my heart, I have an Emerson-sized hole in my heart. Having another baby girl isn’t going to fix that. I think, in a way, it’s sweet grace. It’s clear now that this baby is not going to fill that void.”
“I can totally see this boy joining our ranks and filling the house with raucous fun,” Abby quipped.
Abby also asked Matt if he was disappointed with their sex reveal. “Oh gosh. I think, to be honest, yes,” he replied. “We lost our daughter. I really wanted a daughter.”
He went on to say that he was initially disappointed with the news because he wanted his wife to experience being a girl mom. “More than anything, I want to give you this. I want you to have a mini version of you,” he told Abby, imagining her getting her nails done with a little girl. “I see the sweet bond between you and your mom.”
Matt added that he is now delighted to welcome a third boy to their family. “I’m so excited to have three boys. I’m one of three boys. We talked about how much fun it is to have three boys.”
Matt and Abby’s discussion comes after she announced via social media in September that she abortion Due to unexpected complications.
“During a routine pregnancy appointment, our doctors could not find a heartbeat,” they wrote in a joint social media post. “Shortly after they sent us for our ultrasound, the technician said something we’ll never forget, ‘I’m sorry I don’t have good news.'”
The parents continued, “The grief has been absolutely devastating, but we are so grateful for the time we had with her. We still have hope. Hope continues to be there for us in so many ways. For now, we will grieve and continue to find ways to honor her offline life.”
