“I feel like I failed at something that should be easy.”

I want to talk about something that a client told me recently, because I think a lot of people feel this way:

“I fought for .lose weight. all my adult life. I feel like I’m failing at something that should be easy.”

If you’ve struggled to get in shape before, you may know the same feeling.

He can sneak in and do whatever feels personal.

As well as are you the problem Like “if I had more will power”, things would be better.

But here’s the thing:

You are not failing at something that should be easy.

You strive to do something that is difficult for almost everyone.

And this distinction makes a world of difference.

The Mismatch

When you step back and look at the actual evidence, putting it into shape is not simple.

Do not lose weight.

It does not build muscle.

Don’t stick to habits.

For what? Why we do it all in a system that stacks the deck:

And that’s just ours external environment

When we look under the hood, each person has different levels of .food noise., .pleasure from the exercise.history of injuries, etc.

We don’t all play on a level playing field – and that playing field was already challenging to begin with!

I don’t say any of this to make you feel hopeless.

On the contrary:

It is only by recognizing the very real restrictions that we can make a plan to get around them.

Here is a simple 2 step approach you can use to do this.

Step 1: Collect Evidence

An important part of rewriting the narrative is gathering evidence to the contrary.

What kind of person are you?

Take a few moments each day to highlight each time you take an action that is aligned with your goals.

✅ When you do a .short workout. instead of no workout on a crazy day

✅ When you build a .balanced plate. at dinner time

✅ When you add a few repetitions to your workout

Write it in a notebook. Text to a friend. Leave a marble in yours .jar of wonder..

This is one of the most critical aspects of our .coaching program..

People need to see signs of progress. They need to reinforce that what they are doing is working.

That starts by highlighting the actions you take that move you toward your goals.

From there, we can narrow down the target.

Step 2: Shrink the Target

When you feel stuck and like nothing is working, it’s natural to want to try to change all things, all at once!

We encourage you to resist that urge.

Instead, get more laser focused.

In my 15 years of coaching, the most progress comes from .reducing the number of things. someone has to worry. Don’t add more to their to-do list.

Because focus creates consistency.

If you know what your number one goal is for the day, you’re much more likely to tackle it than if you have a laundry list of 10 things that feel important, all the time.

If they are all the most important, then none of them are important.

Narrowing your focus not only improves consistency and reduces overwhelm, it helps you learn what actually moves the needle for you.

You don’t have to guess whether something works or not – you’ve always done it and you can see the results for yourself!

–

So here is the thought I want you to practice:

Instead of:

“I failed at something that should be easy.”

Try:

“I strive to do something that is difficult for almost everyone – and I always showed up.”

That reframe is not fluffy.

It’s practical.

It gets you out of shame and into problem solving. It allows you to notice the progress that you i am to do. And free up space to decide what your next step really is.

And this is the whole game:

Show up.

Collect evidence.

Close the fire.

Repeat.

Do this long enough, and the identity you build becomes the thing that carries you forward.

If you would like help figuring out your “one thing” for this week, please reply to this email. I’m here.

– Matt