Tools for developers to manage and move old conflicts

Expectations are high for any startup team, so conflict should be expected, even encouraged. However, company culture is built on real experiences and interactions, not what you put on the wall. If team members see co-founders or the leadership team get angry and fall into useless fights, this does not set the tone for respect, growth.

Fortunately, it is possible to fix this and do the work to learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way. Ian Schmidt is a consultant at Trimergenceconsulting that trains leaders to be effective from within. On the latest episode of Build ModeSchmidt discussed how startups and teams need to adapt their operating systems.

“Businesses have human resources systems, and human resources systems require an incremental process over time, just like pharmaceuticals do with your go-to-market strategy,” Schmidt said. “So we work with leaders and teams to map how they work, how they think, how they deal with conflict, how they make decisions, and give them what we call a noise reduction algorithm.”

In fact, this means that founders can create ways of working through conflict and change when the team is two or three people, and if it is successful, it can grow with the company.

Schmidt offered a formula that any founder, leader, or team member can use when conflict arises:

Pause and do an “inside 360” of what has happened

If the argument is not going well, it is important to think carefully about what you discussed and see your side. Maybe you yelled, escalated the argument, or made a bad moment in front of the group. Don’t try to rush to an answer, take a moment to listen to yourself, talk about what happened, and try to think about how it might affect others.

Match this event with an example

When disputes get serious, they are often one-sided issues. Take the time to see the pattern in this behavior. “How does this relate to what I know about myself?” Oh, my friend tells me this all the time, or I’ve been seeing this for a long time, or I’ve gotten this comment before.

Go to other affected areas

After the presentation, go to your team members to make the necessary adjustments. In these conversations, it’s very helpful to say what you think happened and how it might affect them, have your part clearly, and ask them how it happened to them. Be open to receiving their experiences and feedback and let the conversation lead to improvements.

That openness and ownership will lead to more trust in the team and more constructive debate down the line.

Listen to the entire Build Mode episode for smart tips on how to build your team.

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Isabelle Johannessen is our host. Build Mode created and edited by Maggie Nye. Audience Development is led by Morgan Little. And special thanks to the Foundry and Cheddar video teams.