For $1 million, you can pay Bryan Johnson (or BryanAI?) to teach you how to live longer

It’s the middle of February, and the air is dry. There are fine lines appearing on my forehead, maybe because I don’t moisturize enough, but maybe as a sign of something bigger: every day I’m getting closer to my death. Soon, I will be 30 years old. I will never be younger than I am now.

Fintech-founder-turned-longevity-guru Bryan Johnson has an opportunity that has caught my attention. For a low price, as little as $1 million a year, I can pay him to show me the ropes of the “real protocol” he’s been following for the past five years. They call the program “Immortals”.

Yes, the person who received it botox injections in his genitals he will teach me how he says he can reverse aging. Why shouldn’t I believe that Byran Johnson has revealed the secrets to living longer than anyone else? No, they have not yet proven that they have the power to live above all other people. He was born in 1977, the year most people today were born.

But how could I doubt the judgment of a man who strengthened his laws blood from his teenage son? When do experts mislead us? May I ask again when Elon Musk says that saving for retirement is useless because AGI will bring so much wealth that no one will ever know poverty again?

According to Johnson’s post on X, this unique job – only three spots are available! – will include a “dedicated concierge team, BryanAI 24/7, extensive testing, millions of natural ingredients, continuous tracking, the best skin and hair treatments, and access to the best care on the market.”

I can talk to an AI version of a human who drives himself crazy for “science?” Write me!

Except I can’t. Because I don’t have $1 million. The likes of me will have to settle for overpriced Johnson’s olive oil in the pursuit of immortality (and. pepper is smooth!)

My forehead wrinkles grow knowing that Johnson will have an easy time filling the three $1 million spots. Among the super rich, longevity has become an increasingly difficult issue.

John Hering, who has given Musk billions of dollars in support, initiated the partnership a public historianwhich describes itself as a preventive medicine clinic. Its highest-profile membership costs $15,000 a year (next to Johnson’s offering, it seems pretty good… almost). The same beginning, Spring of Lifehas raised $108 million to support the “end of life program,” which charges $21,500 a year. Sure, Johnson’s program is very expensive, but remember, there are only three spots! And if you’re not quite ready to shell out seven figures, you can get a vaguely worded “support unit” for $60,000.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live a long, healthy life, but longevity advocates like Johnson take this to an extreme that’s impossible and (common sense would say) irrelevant to the average person.

In his defense, Johnson isn’t trying to convert us all to take a hundred pills a day and eat a lot of boiled vegetables. But he does not take the opportunity to get rich in exchange for his “secrets”.